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BEWAIL

Am not lost, or am I?. Not stupid, or I may be!. Am not naive, you've seen it. A wise counsellor? I am!. But why all fall on me? Why can't I follow my own advices?. Why is talking more fan than actual action, activity acts absent after plans! Are all lost, all gone and forgotten forever. "Do you remember the plan we had? Was never implemented", they'll say. "It was a good plan!" Do you know what's good? If yes, why was it never taken serious? "Well, because it was good, it would have worked". Oh my! You mean we never want things that works out well? No, it was a risk and risks are not taken by many but a single person. Sounds bad! Now forgotten, latter cried on it, we wished it worked out!!!

Am not lost or am I? Not stupid, or I may be. Now with the gray hair, am wise. But now, was born a good child, loved and taken care of. Though couldn't afford all but many was given. Questions, "when did the rain started falling on them?" Now no plans, no life, nothing at all. Drinking and driving, drinking and nights spends on the streets though have a good home. Stubborn, rude but with nothing though needs help! Who does the helping part? If I'd see the future and how he would be, I wouldn't allow this life to come through me. If I'd been shown how he would behave, I'd have ended this life before the sun rises. But all of no use now.

Am not lost, or am I? Not stupid I know. Disappointed I am. Before was fine, no one had seen this day coming, the words inserted in them are now coming out. Abusive they are, irritating and shaming the parents and the entire community. Did you not see these growing within, did you not see the seeds of destruction planted within? Now you blame the products of what you yourselves inserted within, it now the bitter truth. You rip what you had planted. Didn't saw this when sowing, didn't thought of the fruits it would bear, but it's fine , it's good to cry. Shade it off your eyes.

Am not lost, or am I? Not stupid, or I may be! Not naive you've seen it, wise counselor I was, and thus the words. Co wife wasn't the reason, you are. Polygamy wasn't the way out but a choice, the child wasn't yours alone but them too. You denied them chance to plant discipline within, was child-abuse according to you, look the rest are all doing good even with no school. Yours with the education is going down, had turn into something else, was your choice. With my gray hair couldn't fight him, he is stronger and aggressive, all the painful words I'd receive. Pray hard and repent on it he might come back. But he is lost, we are lost, and not all stupid. 

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